And so it begins...

Where do I start....
         How about the official announcement that Aj would be deploying. The rumors began right before we got married in July, and went something along the lines of "expect a deployment in December, more specific details will come soon". When and where were never announced until about November(3 months later) and at this same time we were finally "updated" on the details of this deployment. Families were told the deployment would begin anywhere from  Dec 1st-31st and it would be 12 months (thanks Army, you told us nothing new and were even more vague!). I found myself laughing hysterically about this, they made a huge deal about the announcement and had many meetings, yet they had nothing new to announce. More precious time wasted when they could have just sent an email, that of course would be just too easy.
         We finally got word that Aj would be deploying Dec. 16th. and my heart broke knowing that he would be leaving a week before Christmas. All of the traditions we have made over these past 7 years together is something I'm going to miss terribly, but I'm so proud of him and thankful that because he will be giving up a Christmas, others will be able to have theirs.
          Everything everyone has told me about the anticipation leading up to him leaving is true. We keep asking one another "Is this real?" It literally just makes you sick. I know I have freaked Aj out a few times because I would find myself staring at him, just taking in everything about him. He would get those weird vibes of someone looking at him and catch me just creepily staring at him ;) He leaves in a few days and so many things are racing through my mind. I'm surprisingly doing ok though, and I'm working hard to not let myself get down in the dumps about him leaving. I know it would only make it more difficult for him.
         The both of us haven't talked much about the deployment in all honesty, mostly because we know that dwelling on it will only make it more difficult. I have asked all of my important (you better tell me so I don't freak out) questions, so I have had time to digest the information he has given me. Having finals leading up to him leaving has been a life saver. I thought being sucessful this semester would be impossible, but without the intense studying I have been doing I probably would have drove myself crazy with even more anticipation.
         The one question I have been asked the most is "what is the most difficult part". Its a tough question to answer. You can't spend time thinking about all of the negative things, otherwise you will never make it through the year.Other than the unstable area he will be in, and the constant worrying for his safety, I think the one thing that I'm worried about the most is our puppy. I can't believe I'm saying that, because until I got hooked on a certain breed of dog and found our little baby, I never really was a dog person. Aj and Conan have such a special bond and it will absolutely break my heart when Conan runs around the corner and down the hall in the morning looking for his daddy, and he wont be there. I will definitely have to hold myself together for that one. On the other hand, I know their reunion for R&R is going to be incredible, and I will be an absolute wreck when they finally get to see one another again.
          I know that this next year will be tough, but Aj and I are ready for this, and we have the best support anyone could ask for. Thousands of people experience deployments, it's something we can get through and we will. I have full faith in Aj's soldiers and the bond they share with him. I know they will all take care of one another and do their best to get everyone home safe.

       I was sent this song a little bit ago. It was written by Connie Francis. I think it's absolutely beautiful and timeless. Her voice is incredible. It's one of those songs that reminds me of how lucky we are to have one another. Through all the hard times we are never alone, and how lucky we are to have one another to miss.

If it takes forever I will wait for you
For a thousand summers I will wait for you
Till you're back beside me, till I'm holding you
Till I hear you sigh here in my arms.
Anywhere you wander, anywhere you go
Every day remember how I love you so
In your heart believe what in my heart I know
That forevermore I'll wait for you.
The clock will tick away the hours one by one
Then the time will come when all the waiting's done
The time when you return and find me here and run
Straight to my waiting arms.
If it takes forever I will wait for you
For a thousand summers I will wait for you
Till you're here beside me, till I'm touching you
And forevermore sharing your love...

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. -Isaiah 41:10